It be a blog post!

Last night may have been the single biggest party of my life. I went to Jordan's at about seven o clock on his request. When I walked in, him and his mom were watching Pirates Of The Carribean: At World's End. Jack Sparrow has a line in this movie where he says "close your eyes and pretend its all a bad dream, thats how I get by". I develloped a theory right then and there that this quote was the only way to endure the movie. I think the producers intentionally put that line there to break the fourth wall and reward especially attentative viewers.
After we watched that movie, I told Jordan I had some Guarana (Brazilian soda) at my house, so we went and retrieved that. We then drove to farmer's market and bought pure cranberry juice and dixie cups to do shots with. We went back to my house, and my dad, Jenny, her husband McKenzie, Jordan and I all did shots around the kitchen table. They all wussed out when there was still a third of the bottle left, so I chugged from the bottle. This made me sick. We finished this, then had a belching contest, in which even my sister outburped me.
After this, we went out to Jared's car to take Jordan home. As Jordan was entering the vehicle, he flatulated in a manner that was most offensive to my nose and stomach. I have gagged a great many times at his odiferous methane emissions, but having done the shots of cranberry juice, I gagged and threw up all over myself while sitting in the drivers seat. No joke.
I cleaned myself up, then we drove over to Jordan's, and then tried to tame his cat. There is a video account of this on facebook. I sneezed in Jordan's face, causing him to go wash it in the sink. We then spent a half an hour looking for the batteries to a spotlight so we could go spotlight the rabbits living in his back yard. We did this and wound up only finding his cat to spotlight, which is disappointing to say the least. We then broke open his kitchen lighter to get the sparking mechanism out of it, and I watched Jordan find new and unique ways to shock himself until midnight. Then I went home and wished I hadn't witnessed any of that.

This is my concluding sentence to this blog post.